Tuesday, June 24, 2014

COURTESY ALERT: this is a long post. If you don't have the time or inclination, please don't feel obligated to read further. I'll totally understand.

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After being cut off in mid-sentence 4-5 times, asked questions I was not allowed to fully answer, and being treated to verbal bullying and condescension in a frustrating 6-minute phone call that ended with me being hung-up on, I walked into Monroe Pharmacy today with a prescription I was trying to fill for my wife. Follows, my 2nd exchange with said establishment:

[Counter attendant]: Can I help you, sir?
[Me]: "I hope so. I'd like you to direct me to the pharmacist who was part of  a particularly frustrating phone call I had about 10 minutes ago."
[He, standing next to the attendant]: "That would be ME. As I recall, I specifically asked you if this was an original, first-time prescription being called in at the beginning of our conversation, did I not?"
[Me: "Yes, you did... and I tried to tell you that I didn't know-"
[He]: "And then, I asked you if you had an account with our store, didn't I?"
[Me] "Yes... and when I tried to explain that perhaps I did, and that my wife didn't- "
[He]: "And then, I asked you if the prescription was written on an official Rx form-  didn't I?"
[Me]: " (My God... it's happening again....) Yes. You did. And when I tried to tell you-"
[He]: "So- what's the problem, then? Let's see the scrip."

At that point, he extended his hand, palm-up... and did the 2-wag, "hand it to me" gesture....without even making eye contact with me.

I stood there, without extending that piece of paper even one inch in his direction.
In fact, I then flexed my elbow, sending the piece of paper upward... as if to say: "Psyyyyche!"

[Me]: "Oh, I'm sorry... you must be under the impression that you still have my business. I actually came in here as a courtesy... to tell you face-to-face why you've actually LOST my business... AFTER 20 YEARS. I don't give my money to people who treat me with arrogance and condescens-""

[He]: " Well... you're always free to take your business somewhere else..."

BOOM.

At that point, even the other employees stopped to see what might happen next.

[Me]: "Well... thanks for YOUR permission to take MY business somewhere else.... but you again interrupted my courtesy..."

By now, my voice is rising to the point that everyone within 20-30 feet can hear it... another 2-3 decibels, and the police may have been called, as I continued:

"I think I'll just go... RIGHT. ACROSS. THE STREET... and start giving MY LOCAL MONEY to the national chain*  that's pushing Your Mom & Pop shop OUT OF BUSINESS. It's something I NEVER do, when I have a decent local option. Know what, dude? You might be a good pharmacist- but you absolutely SUCK at customer relations. I won't spend another DIME in this dive of yours- and I won't even come in here to get the discounts when you hold your 'going out of business' sale. I'm done here. Good luck in the future."

[He, with a sarcastic tone]: Thank you.... 'sir.' "
[Me, with equal 'snark' in my voice]: "It was my pleasure."

Damn.

I got sucked into an "Alpha Male" fight- with a total stranger I'd never seen before. In 20 years of doing business with this local establishment, I've never once before dealt with this guy. All of his personnel have always interacted with me well... until today- when I met this imperious, supercilious individual.  

"The customer is always right?" [smirks]

I worked in retail. The customer ISN'T always right. I've always known better, from personal experience. Sometimes, they're rude. Sometimes, they're overbearing. Most of the time, they're totally ignorant of the things you know, as a person 'in the know.' But I also know this: In a town of any size, customers have the option of trading where they please... and 'customer loyalty' is always fostered by a reputation of service and attentiveness.

In businesses/services that deal in human health, it's been shown- time after time- that those who actually LISTEN to their clients are the ones who routinely provide the best care/service. I saw it first-hand, as I watched one of my very closest friends run his father's drug store as the Primary Pharmacist/store boss for almost 5 years. In almost daily exposure to that arm of retail, I NEVER ONCE saw him treat a customer as I was treated today.

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I HATE it when I allow others to bring out the worst in me. It diminishes my ability to control who I am and what I allow from myself as a person. I only share this with you all because it's the first time in over 2 decades that I've actually behaved like this in public, and I need to mark this date (personally AND publicly) so that I keep that part of me in check. Today, I knowingly and purposefully 'made a scene' in public.

My Parents would be mortified at my behavior today. I am personally mortified, as well. I was raised better than this.

Over the years, I've grown myself a long fuse... because I know that it's attached to a very big charge. I'm an ugly Human Being when my C-4 goes off.  Shit gets damaged when I get pissed. PEOPLE get damaged.

I don't want this for my life. I don't wish to be defined by this ugliness that lurks inside me. The throbbing in my head, the out-of-control feeling- that acrid, bilious taste in the back of my throat- all are reminders of the worst decisions I've ever made in my life. I came very close to reliving those days today. This dude was lucky. He's lucky because I'm now 57, instead of 27. Nobody deserves treatment like this... when he's only trying to conduct business and learn something along the way) during a normal day In The Life.

I was taught the rules of 'common courtesy' at the same time I was taught my A-B-C's. I honor My Parents' lessons as best I can in my everyday dealings. I do my best to treat everyone I meet with the basics of regard and decorum. I was also taught to not allow myself to be treated like someone's personal doormat. Today was one step over the personal line I draw for myself... and I took a stand.
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Story Upside: I immediately opened an account across the street, was treated with courtesy and efficiency.... and when I returned after running the rest of my errands, got to drive away with my wife's prescription- in less than 2 minutes, without leaving my air-conditioned car... courtesy of their drive-through service.

To: Monroe Pharmacy's Head Pharmacist/Perhaps Store Owner (whatever your real name is...): this divorce didn't have to happen... but I'm actually O.K. that it did:

1. You taught me something about myself... something I can work on, to make myself better.
2. You showed me a Prime Example of whom I don't want to be, whenever I interact with others.
3.. You showed me that 'walking away from an asshole' immediately puts distance between me and the smell it usually produces.

Life goes on,
Clemmy.


*National chain: CVS.

Monday, June 16, 2014

In Appreciation Of Fathers

1. [Me, at age 7]: "Dad... other kids in school talk about getting an allowance. What's an allowance?"

[Pops] "An allowance is something parents give their kids to teach them that the world owes them something. You'll never get an allowance from me. Instead, I'm gonna give you something better.... I'm gonna teach you how to earn a wage."

2. [As I was washing the car in the driveway, age 13]: "Don't miss a spot, boy. If you only clean the top, Your Bottom is still dirty."

3. [After inspecting the car, and before paying me]: "Yeah.... nice. This ride is as clean as the Board Of Health."

4. "If you want to save time and effort, do it right the first time. Thinking saves a whole lot of doing. Take it apart, and start all over again. You'll learn- "

5. "Folks will forget what you say in a day. They'll remember what you do forever."

6. Age 14. On my way to Indiana University for their Summer Music Clinics. I was free-associating (out loud) about how I'd shock the IU world with my mad-ass cello-workin' skills... and get a private session with Janos Starker (Google him for background)

[Pops]: "Do you believe that you're the best cello player of your age that you've ever met?"
[Me] "Well... yeah- I guess I do."
[Pops] "That's because you ain't met nobody yet. It's one thing to be the biggest fish in the pond. It's whole new game when you swim with the sharks. This summer will show you if you're ready..." (Pops didn't know a lick of music that My Momz didn't teach him... but he knew how The World worked-).

7. "People look at a great piece of art hanging on a wall and ask themselves: 'Who did that?' They'll also look at a half-assed piece of crap sitting in someone's front yard.... and ask the same damn question."

8. "When folks praise you, first ask yourself: 'why?' If your answer is all about you, you haven't figured out what they want from you yet."

9. "That (person) is so dumb, he couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the sole...."

10. "If you always settle for 'good enough,' you'll die wondering if you were 'good enough.' "

11. [After I personally, TRULY 'fucked up'- Big Time]: "This is a simple equation, son. The world needs Good People to move on. Either you get yourself right... or you'll just get left."

12. "The smartest man in the room is often the one with the fewest college degrees."

13. "Any job worth doing is worth doing to the best of your ability."

14. "Marry a girl who can cook and talk and think. You'll need all that good food just to keep up with her- and you'll never be bored."

15. I was 17. Pops & me were stopped at a red light. A young, 20-something slow-walked past the car at the crosswalk. Body be slammin,' yo. Hips swaying hypnotically, she was the essence of raw animal sensuality. She looked over her right shoulder and smiled at us as she cleared the lane. Those hips disappeared when we both saw the gaps in her smile.

[Pops]: "Damn. That was fun- for a minute."

16. "Take care of your tools. Everything you buy will eventually break. When they do, you'll need your tools and your brain to save money- and learn something new. Newer isn't always better."


17. I was 8 years old. My first 'paying gig.' (Remember- Pops didn't do "allowance"...) Pops and Uncle Babe (Oliver Wendell Freeman) had a 'sideline money-maker'... they hauled pianos and organs for a local music store. Dave & Mary Porter would sell the inventory, "3 Aces Moving" would deliver the treasures to all those happy suburbanites who'd bought into the 60's mantra: "A parlor isn't complete without an upright piano."

[Pops]: You have three jobs: help us cover the pianos with these packing blankets, fold the blankets after we deliver the pianos, and memorize the lines on this piece of paper.... you'll need them when you ring doorbells."

There was just something about an 8-year-old Af/Am kid dressed in 'work clothes' with impeccable manners (representing the store which sold you your new piano), that made well-to-do suburban wives 'open up their pocketbooks' to 3 generations of sweaty Black Americans hauling her newest acquisition into her parlor. Tips be flowin' free, yo.

18. I was 13 years old. After seeing My Father march through our town in support of African Americans to enjoy the same rights of citizenship as other Americans, on a Monday, I saw him come home from a day of incarcerating some of the very same people who walked hand-in-hand with him on that previous Saturday. When I questioned him about the apparent dichotomy, he said this: "Saturday was about all of us. Today was only about some of us."

Pops knew People.

_________________

These are just a few 'pearls' that I heard while growing up. RLC One was the kind of person who made a room extend its walls to accommodate him when he entered. He carried a charisma, natural ease and sense of true gravitas everywhere he walked. He was a man of true substance. The kind of man you'd want in your life, in any measure. 35 years after his death, RLC Two is still scrambling like a madman to catch up.

________________


It's been 35 years since I've had a conversation with My Dad.

I have deeply missed those conversations.

If there existed some 'cosmic cheat/hack' that would allow me to converse with My Dad today, I'm certain that 90% of what he'd have to tell me would fall on the same deaf ears he talked to when we shared Time and Space together. After all, it took 30+ years for some of his wisdom to actually make sense to me now.

Still... I'd be grateful for the time... and the 10% I'd actually be able to use today. I'd live my life striving to glean meaning from the other 90%.

I miss My Dad on Father's Day.
I miss My Dad Every Day.

___________________

If you miss Your Dad like I do, take a moment to remember him fondly.
If you still have Your Dad, it's not too late to tell him what he truly means to you.
If you are a Dad, please understand the responsibility you have to Our Collective Future.


Be one of The Good Guys.
Be a good son to Your Fathers.
Be an example to The Young Ones who need your guidance.

This is how you keep Dads alive... long after they have left us.

Celebrating Father's Day as an orphan,
peace/out,


'Zilla.