Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Discipline (!!) (???)

I debated long and hard about posting this. After significant deliberation, I decide to throw caution to the wind, and hit the "New Topic" button.

What you're about to read is is bit of foolishness that can only come from:

1. a particularly trying week of private lessons.
2. a freakishly bizarre story being floated about on the newswires.
3. one too many shots of Knob Creek small-batch whiskey after an excruciating Pops concert of Andrew Lloyd-Weber Broadway hits.

This confluence of cosmic factors landed in my life last week- in the form of a big, steaming lump. (Oh, the glamorous life of a 'Classical Musician'....)

I received this little e-mail nugget about strange case in Colorado from a Symph colleague. Instead of simply shaking my head, and then dumping it... I decided to flex my (atrophied) improvisational muscles, and send him a reply.

Don't say I didn't warn you......

'Zilla



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Teacher allegedly whacks child with bow
March 8, 2007

BOULDER, Colo. --A substitute music teacher has been arrested after allegedly whacking a 10-year-old student on the head with a viola bow after telling the class they were "the worst players I've ever heard."

Newspaper and television reports said the trouble began when Carla Shinners, 63, a teacher for more than 30 years in the district, was interrupted by a call on her own cell phone. She allegedly began swearing Feb. 12 at the Creekside Elementary School, where she had earned the nickname "Mrs. Grumpy Lady."

Principal Karen Daly said parents and students complained.

The 10-year-old said Shinners also pulled her hair.

Shinners allegedly said the students complained because she was white and they are Hispanic. There was no phone number listed for her in Boulder. It wasn't clear if she had retained an attorney.

Briggs Gamblin, a spokesman for the school district, confirmed in a telephone interview Thursday night that she had been fired.

Shinners could face a charge of child abuse resulting in injury. She is free on $1,000 bond.




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WTF?...

FIRED ???

Arrested ????



See- that's what's wrong with this country today. Kids are too damned soft. A little light discipline, and they run to their Mommies with some whinyass tale of woe. Then Mommie gets all pissy and worked up, just because her "precious little wonder" was actually required to "man up" and meet some freakkin' standards for a change. Kids heal fast, anyway.... it's not like that mark on her forehead won't fade or something. This ain't Romper Room- this is real life! Chances are, that kid would have forgotten all about it in 10-20 years or so... if Mommie hadn't made such a big freakkin' stink out of it. I'd be willing to bet that coward-ass parent got the cops to do her dirty work for her, too- instead of showing up to the school, and settling it the right way- out by the bike racks after last bell.

Hell, I used to take a good whack or two every week in my lessons. Helped to make me the man I am today, gat-dammit! Had this teacher in 4th grade, useta whack the snot outta some kids with that bow- you know what? they didn't give him no trouble... and every one of them played like Heifetz!!! Helluva teacher, he was.

Us music kids had some good reflexes, too! I just know my violin lessons with "Doc Savage" (that's what us kids called him behind his back... outside of class... when he was teaching at some other school... ) helped me to bob-and-weave my way out of more than a few playground ass-whoopin's. But does the teacher get credit? Nooooooooooooo... Of cooourse not!

Sometimes, a good swift whack gets 'em to "wake up" when nothing else will. Hey- it worked for Bob Knight, it can work for other disciplines, too. A mule won't start motivating if you just 'sweet-talk' it to death, and neither will a kid. You gotta first get their attention- then, and only then, might you be able to accomplish something.

Besides, the little sh*ts should have been using better intonation, attack, phrasing and ensemble, anyway. To be labelled as "the worst ever" is really some accomplishment.... after all, this teacher had been hearing 30 YEARS of this crap from other parents' 'precious little wonders.' Sounds like she should have done what I'd have done... handed out bulk-mailings of bow-whacks to every one of those those no-account slackers in the room. And if they cried, I'd really give 'em something to cry about!

A little hair-pulling also helps. It gets the message to the brain- right straight through the roots. "Eliminate the middle man," I always say.

If you ask me, there's waaaay too many pussies in The Arts these days. And it's all because of crap like this. If you want to see the artform survive another generation, you'd better start populating it with people who can hold their own. And it all starts in the Public School System.

Teachers like Carla Shinners and Doc Savage are the last line of defense against our cultural decay and eventual extinction. It's high time we started treating them like the heroes they are.



sincerely,

Maurice De Sade

Music Teacher (retired)
Conductor Emeritus, Mansfield Correctional Philharmonia
Current Director of Musical Rehabilitation, Toledo Youth Treatment Center


Needless to say, this response was totally tongue-in-cheek, and I'd never engage in such activities. But it was cathartic, after the week I had...